Cover to ‘Money Shot’ #1. Art: Rebekah Isaacs, Kurt Michael Russell/Vault Comics

by Lauren Fernandes. Attention! 

Sci-fi, STEM*, and Porn Fans Everywhere: 

Brush up on your scientific process, buckle up, and gird your loins! Grab the appropriate birth control, STI prevention materials, oxygen mask, and other necessary personal protection equipment. Make sure you have a great internet connection for streaming, and get ready for a fun little jaunt in a galaxy far, far away. 

Vault Comics has a treat for us mature readers, and that treat is Money Shot, a writing collaboration between Tim Seeley (HACK/SLASH, Revival) and comedian and fuckit Twitter Master Sarah Beattie. What the two of them cooked up is a painfully close-to-home satirical saga that tells the story (illustrated by Rebekah Isaacs) of a group of scientists struggling to fund their work and traveling space. Letterer Crank! starts the book with a Star Wars-esque opening crawl that ends with this statement;

“Amid an anti-science presidential administration and public apathy, scientists in an economically crippled America struggle to fund innovative projects.” 

Christine Ocampo (a physicist and the leading lady of our late night story) has the answer to her scientific team’s funding woes. The team will travel to other planets and have sex with aliens, streaming the content for eager fappers all over planet earth, all in exchange for the dough they need to actually perform research on these far away planets. Considering how popular porn is with pretend aliens, real aliens are bound to keep the crew flush with cash. It’s pretty genius, which isn’t surprising considering Christine has a PhD. 

And here’s where it gets better: this plot isn’t so far fetched. Okay, okay, I hear you. We don’t know if aliens exist, and we can’t travel to go see them and fornicate for funds (yet). However, let me point this out; Pornhub regularly runs campaigns that donate to scientific causes and scholarships. Their most recent campaign, “The Dirtiest Porn Ever,” ended in September. For each view of a specific video (you can Google it) the company donated to Ocean Polymers, an organization focused on cleaning up single-use plastics from oceans and beaches. In the spring, they ran a campaign called “Beesexual” which featured videos of bees foraging, hilariously voiced over by pornstars. For each view they donated to charities focused on saving the bees. One of their $25k scholarships was specifically for women in tech. Basically, our real world is kind of already heading in the direction of Seeley and Beattie’s Money Shot. Scientists aren’t getting government funding, and the money has to come from somewhere. Right?

Before we move on, let’s address the elephant in the room. I know what you’re wondering: Is this comic porn?

No. It’s not. Money Shot is not porn anymore than a show about cake is an actual cake. You cannot take the Great British Baking Show and put it on your plate and eat it for dessert. Likewise, Money Shot is about porn, but is not actually porn. Apparently this distinction is difficult to get across. Seeley and Beattie humanize their characters. They dress them up in distinct personalities that are relatable and real. And hilarious. 

Money Shot celebrates sex in a super refreshing way. It shows strong, confident, intelligent women (and men) making the choice to engage in pornography in order to reach their goals. It simultaneously kicks the trope of the fussy, uptight, sexless Big Bang Theory-type nerds in the balls, while shredding apart the ancient stereotype that sex work is shameful, degrading, and makes you less valuable as a human. These are two major wins for me.

Rebekah Isaac’s art is another. The costumes for the science team have every need visualized and addressed. From the boob-flaunting zipper down the front, to the groin access flap, our sexy scientists have easy access to all their most important goods while traveling the cosmos searching for blue fishmen. Isaac’s angles pan like a porno, flashing bare backs and parted lips, abs and strange fishman testicles, though she tantalizingly leaves the naughtiest bits out (not actual porn, remember?). Meanwhile, colorist Kurt Michael Russell adds ambiance with mood lighting. His consistent, warm/cool color palette adds a luscious feel to the book while maintaining a proper “outer space” feel, perfect for Money Shot’s after dark content. 

If Stargate SG1 and Galaxy Quest had a baby, and that baby grew up and decided it wanted to do all the sciencing and also star in a porn series, you would have Money Shot. The book is colorful, fun, hilarious, and uncomfortably close to real life. I’m ready to see more floating pickles, Godzillas with strap-ons, and the lengths that science will go to for discovery.

*STEM— Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math

Vault Comics / $3.99

Written by Tim Seeley and Sarah Beattie.

Art by Rebekah Isaacs.

Colors by Kurt Michael Russell.

Letters by Crank!

8 out of 10

Check out this Vault Vintage variant cover by Nathan Gooden and Tim Daniel, courtesy of Vault Comics!